Are you a Yo-Yo Dieter? Have you lost and gained weight many times? Do you start with new habits and quit because they are too difficult to sustain?
Self Sabotage is a major reason why we default back to old patterns and never commit fully to change.
I recently visited psychologist Dr. Nicola Sherlock (@the_psychology_coach) to understand why we self-sabotage, what we can do to overcome self-sabotage and how we can take control of our minds to stop repeating bad habits that can negatively impact our lives.
Here are a few takeaways from our consultation as to why we self sabotage.
1. Your ‘WHY’ isn’t big enough
Your reasons for change aren’t strong enough or important enough to you. If change was required for a life or death situation, then our desire to take action is solid and it WILL happen- it’s imperative! We must make our ‘Whys’ so strong that change is imperative. Make your goals big, bright and a must in your life.
Most of us lack confidence deep down. We don’t feel worthy enough to be the best and brightest versions of ourselves. We don’t feel we deserve it. Somewhere in our past our confidence has been knocked. We don’t feel we have the personal strength or tenacity to see a goal through to the end. This is a fixed mindset and has to be changed, reverting to a growth mindset that will enable confidence, change and progress. Visualise a more confident you, be more assertive and have faith in your ability to achieve whatever you want in life. It’s never too late.
3. Prioritising Others First
Our kids, families, partners, homes, and jobs usually take priority over our own mental & physical health. Fill your own cup up first before offering yourself to others. Don’t feel guilty about prioritising your fitness, healthy nutrition and sleep. These are all essential to a healthy body and mind. When you feel energised and healthy you have the capacity to give to others.
4. Self Love
I know it sounds airy-fairy and straight out of some yankee doodle motivational speech – but it’s true folks! Most of us don’t love ourselves, we lack self-esteem, self-respect and we don’t feel worthy of being the best versions of ourselves. The most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves. Start making it a better one.
5. Comfort Zone
As human beings, we gravitate towards pleasure and avoid pain. WE are drawn back into old familiar patterns again and again, even though they may not be good for us. If you have spent your life managing your emotions by overeating on high calorie sugary or savoury foods, then it’s hard not to fall back into the old patterns. Be very conscious of those patterns so that you are aware when you may find yourself falling back into them. Disrupt the pattern and repeat.
We may not be used to receiving compliments or told that we look amazing or have lost loads of weight, it’s weird. So, we revert to type, back to the comfortable as we may feel exposed and uncomfortable at a subconscious level about being under scrutiny, good or bad. Our mind may be telling us things that are unhelpful, but we are the boss of our own mind – so take control!
Family members and friends may consciously or subconsciously sabotage us with their comments without even realising. When someone makes positive changes in their lives it reflects back on others and what they may not be doing themselves. Sometimes a positive change in others can bring out the worst in people and this can have a profound impact and cause us to regress. Similarly, positive comments can make us feel exposed and uncomfortable, so we seek out the old familiar comfort which may lead to self-sabotage and regression. WE are the driver of our own body and life, don’t let it feed you rubbish, control your inner mutterings.
Such is the extraordinary power of our minds; I have incorporated a mindset and motivation blueprint into my Over 40 Lean and Strong Program to enable us to be aware of progress and not self sabotage. It helps us take control, build confidence, set and achieve goals and be our own cheerleader on the journey to health and fitness.self